Six years ago today

our family lost an amazing man.  

I can't believe that it has already been six years.  

I think grieving just gets harder as the years go by.  

I really miss Gary's dad, Gary and I both do.  

He died and we still have unanswered questions about his death.  

I think we will always ask why?  

Layla and Hayden will never know their Pa Paw.  He died before they were born.  Layla asks about him.  But sadly she will never know his silly smile and sweet heart.  

He was a worker.  Night and day he worked his fingers to the bone.

Every Sunday he rested.  

We ALWAYS ate a huge steak lunch.  He grilled them EVERY Sunday.  

We ate steaks with huge baked potatoes and baked beans on top of the potatoes.  

We watched Nascar every Sunday it was on TV.  

To this day I still eat beans on my potato and LOVE me some Nascar.  

I think it is my way to hold onto him. 

He always gave me heck for cheering for Jimmie Johnson.

 We loved to kid around and get into the races. 

We enjoyed the rivalry and competitiveness.  

The passion for wanting our guy to win.  So even though I wasn't a Nascar fan before I met Gary and his family...I am now proud to watch!  

It helps me grieve.

My uncle died when I was a freshman in college, and my grandfather passed away soon after.  They died so long ago and today I still have a hard time with it.  I just want to know them better.  I have so many childhood memories hanging out with my Uncle and Grandfather.  They were father and son, so I usually spent time with the both of them at the same time.  I was too young to really appreciate the time I had with them.  I love to camp and be outdoors...I wish I could have enjoyed those things now with two men that also loved the outdoors.  I get my love of outdoor activities from both of these men!

I was older when I met Gary's dad.  You know, old enough to know that parents were right about so many things.  Old enough to appreciate advice.  I was becoming friends with my parents and Gary's parents.  When I met him the unruly twenty year old was growing up .  I was at 'that' time in my life.  

So it is hard for me.  I grieve for a man that was not only my husbands father, but my friend. He helped me in my twenties when I was growing up.

Today I will grieve and stand beside my handsome husband while we remember his amazing dad.  I can't imagine loosing my dad.

  

Gary is strong and has handled this death in the only way he knows how.  

We all grieve in different ways.  I'm not done yet, my heart hurts more as the years pass.  But holding onto the things that I loved about all three of these men is getting me through.

How do you grieve?