dreaming & thinking

I am sitting here in my quiet, dark living room relaxing from a long but fun Friday.   Friday evenings are hard for us.  The hustle and bustle of the week wears on the entire family.  I am happy to be sitting down in my quiet house on my comfy sofa.  I am sitting here reflecting on all the things I have.  My handsome husband, my adorable kiddos and the hairy dog beasts I love so much.  I sit here tonight wondering how to say what I want to say without seeming greedy.  

We have so much, but I know Gary and I both want more.  We have a nice house with plenty of room for our family.  I think of the future.  I realize I should be satisfied with the home I have, and I am. I love our house.  We are blessed that each kid has a room, we have an office in which Gary works every day.  We have a playroom and a large backyard.  I love our big kitchen and how open it is to the living room. Am I being selfish because I want more?  I do want more.  I want my forever house right now.  We want our house now so that we can pay it off before we retire.

I want the house a few block away that I saw being built.  We saw it, and we looked at it.  We walked through it and Gary and I both fell in love.  We felt the disappointment when the SOLD sign was placed in the yard.  I realized that God had his plan for us and that house.  I was good with it.  God didn't want us to have that house at that time.  As it turned out that was to be someone elses house.

Then a few days ago I saw that the AVAILABLE sign was miraculously back in the yard again.   My heart skipped a beat. I slammed on the brakes and turned the Jeep around. I sped toward the sign in the yard to see the house was truly on the market again.  Is it a sign? Well heck yes it's a sign...a for sale sign.  BUT ....  Are we supposed to pursue that house again?  Do we put our house on the market?  Or am I just being selfish and wanting something more that isn't necessary?  

Tonight I will pray.  Clearly I was okay when I realized that house wouldn't be ours over a month ago.  I will be fine if that is the case again, but it really made me stop and think about our future and where we will be in 5 years.  I know where our goals say we will be.  I know what we want, but God has plans that we don't know about yet.  So, for now I will just sit back and enjoy what I have. I will be thankful for the house we currently live in and the memories we are currently making.  Because when it comes to making a home, the house really doesn't matter.  The people do, and I love my people.  

God will lead the way!